Palak Murg

This is an Indian dish that features chicken and spinach. It's not even remotely "ethnic" tasting so if you're turned off by really spicy hot foods then fear not. You could easily pass this off as a French or Italian dish and none of your stupid pretentious friends would know any different.

So let's get this show on the road.

You'll need:

3 tablespoons vegetable oil or clarified butter
1 large white onion finely chopped
2 cloves garlic minced
1 inch chopped fresh ginger root
2 teaspoons ground coriander seeds
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 bag of baby salad spinach (anywhere between 9-16 oz. will suffice)
Approximately 1.5 lbs boneless chicken thighs

Cooking directions:

First thing you want to do is rinse the spinach and drain it. Set aside.

Heat oil in a pan on medium heat. Add the ginger, onions, and garlic in order giving about 2 minutes in between each one. Once you have lightly fried all these ingredients add the coriander and chili powder and stir for another 2-3 minutes. If the mixture gets too dry, add more oil. Now add the chicken. You can turn the heat up now to expedite the browning process. Once the chicken has been browned on all sides gradually add the spinach. All of it will not fit in the pan so just wait till some of it wilts. Once you have it all in the pan add a few tablespoons of milk to add some extra moisture and cool some of the spices. Cook for about 35 minutes on med-low after covering. If after 35 minutes it looks too wet then remove the lid and turn up the heat to cook off excess moisture.

Serve with basmati rice

Drunken Chicken

This is a recipe I got from my friend Brian.

Dry Rub:

1 t. Brown Sugar

1 t. Garlic Powder

1 t. Onion Powder

1 t. Savory or Oregano

1/4 t. Cayenne Pepper

1 t. Paprika

1 T. Ground Sea Salt

1 t. Dry Yellow Mustard



Spray:

1 c. Apple Cider

2 T. Olive Oil

2 T. Balsamic Vinegar

6 oz. Warm Beer



Wash, dry , and season with dry rub inside and outside of chicken. Work under skin where possible. Cover with foil and let sit at room temp for 20-30 min.



Stick can of left over beer in chicken. Potato or onion in other cavity.

 

Creamed Spinach

This is a pretty simple recipe but you really need to pay attention to it.

Ingredients:

1/3 cup water
1/3 cup vegetable broth
2 tablespoons all purpose flour
2 tablespoons heavy whipping cream (or half and half, or whole milk)
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg (fresh if possible)
2 tablespoons butter
1 clove minced garlic
2 cups chopped baby spinach

Directions:

Over medium heat in a saucepan melt butter. Add garlic and stir for about 15 seconds making sure you don't burn the garlic. Add in the flour and whisk quickly with a wire whisk. After you have a homogeneous solution add in water, chicken broth, and cream. Whisk until there are no lumps. Add in the nutmeg. Next throw the spinach in the pot and mix well with a wooden spoon. You'll want to cook this for about 4 minutes until the spinach starts to wilt. This may need salt but leave that up to the discretion of your guests.

I can't stress how important it is to continuously stir this the entire time while cooking.

Wasabi Salmon with Panko Crust

This is a pretty pricey grocery run if you don't have any of the ingredients on hand but don't be afraid to improvise and substitute. The only 3 must have ingredients are the panko breadcrumbs, the salmon and some type of mustard.

Ingredients:

2 large salmon filets cut into 4 pieces
1 tablespoon honey mustard
1 tablespoon wasabi mustard
2*(1/2) teaspoons ground thyme
1/2 teaspoon paprika
4 tablespoons olive oil
2/3 cup panko bread crumbs
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro

Remove the skin from the filets and cut each one in half. Now you have 4 pieces of fish. Lightly coat the tops with kosher salt and fresh cracked pepper.

Combine the 2 mustards and 1/2 teaspoon thyme in a small bowl.

In a separate bowl combine the bread crumbs, cilantro, paprika, oil, and thyme.

Spread mustard sauce over the fish evenly. Next top the fish with your breadcrumb mixture.

Bake in the oven (see below) on a baking sheet covered with aluminum foil and sprayed with PAM or spray of your choice. Serve immediately after baking with some fresh lemons. (Or a better idea might be to add some lemon juice to your mustard sauce because adding lemon to this dish can ruin the crunchy texture of the crust)

I'd recommend cooking this in the oven at 400 for about 12 minutes give or take depending on how much you like your Salmon cooked. Keep a close eye on it after 12 minutes to get it to your liking.

I've decided to pair this with some creamed spinach (same recipe as on this website) This would also go well with some steamed green beans IMO

Also the wine you see in the picture is 3 blind moose. It's an inexpensive yet delicious Cab. It was about 7.50 in the local grocery store here.

Vishnu'd eggs

I've decided to put an Indian twist on and old classic. Why? Because I can. And it's always fun to mock the cuisines of other cultures by dumbing it down with stupid shit like boiled eggs.

Ingredients:
6 hard boiled eggs
3 tablespoons low fat mayo
1 tablespoon sugar
1.5 teaspoons dijon mustard(or mustard of your choice)
1 teaspoon vinegar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon red curry powder(you can get this in the spice section of any grocery store)
paprika(for garnishing only)

Directions. If you don't know how to cook hard boiled eggs it's pretty simple. Put the eggs in a medium sized pot and fill with enough COLD water to completely immerse all of the eggs. Bring to a boil over high heat. When the water comes to a rolling boil put the temp on low and continue to boil for ten minutes.

Now remove the eggs and place them into a bowl of ice water. (This prevents your yolks from discoloring) Peel the eggs with your hands. I find it easier to peel them in the sink under running water.

Now if you were smart you already mixed all the ingredients other than the paprika together in a small bowl while your eggs were boiling.

Next cut your eggs in half lengthwise and carefully remove yolks with a small spoon. Put the yolks in a bowl and mash the shit out of them with a fork. Add in the other ingredients that you mixed earlier. Now put the stuff back where the yolks were and and garnish with paprika. Chill for at least 30 minutes before serving.

And since I'm really nice I've calculated all of the relevant nutritional info for you

For one egg half Vishnu style:

Calories 54
Protein 3g
Fat 4.25g
Carbs 1.67 g

Seared Tuna Steaks

So tonight I decided to experiment and make some tuna steaks for the first time. They were great so I'll share the experience with you all.

Step one: You want them about an inch thick and they should have a rosy red color to them. Avoid buying any with brown spots. Try to avoid the triangular shaped cuts and get more square shaped cuts if at all possible. With triangular cuts the heat takes longer to get to the center and you will wind up overcooking the outside.

Step 2: Homemade marinade

Ingredients:
1/3 cup orange juice (fresh squeezed if possible)
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 teaspoon fresh pepper
1 minced clove of garlic
1 teaspoon tarragon leaves
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon red wine vinegar (optional)

Whisk ingredients together into a somewhat homogeneous solution and marinade your tuna steaks in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

Step 3: Cook it

I would suggest cooking the steaks in a cast iron skillet on high heat. Save any excess marinade for basting while cooking.

Tuna gets dry really quick so you don't want to cook it long at all. You'll probably want it rare. 1 minute on each side will be sufficient. These need to be served ASAP after they are done cooking. Tuna unlike beef steak doesn't need to rest.

Note: there are no doubt dozens of different ways to season a tuna steak. The other day I made one that was seasoned with only salt and pepper and lemon juice liberally on both sides. I poured some soy sauce over it and had a side of wasabi and some white rice to go with it. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to keep things really simple.

Nutritional Info For a 9 oz. steak:

Calories: 410 cal.
Protein: 61 g.
Fat: 16 g.
Carbohydrates: 7 g.

Italian Chicken

This is perhaps the easiest recipe you'll ever find, but it's delicious.

You'll need 2 ingredients:

Chicken thighs
Italian seasoning



liberally coat each side of the chicken with Italian seasoning.

Bake @350 30 minutes with the skin side down first and then flip and bake another 20 minutes.

If you like you can remove the skin beforehand to reduce the amount of fat and grease. I would certainly recommend you soak up some of the grease with a towel after cooking.

This may need some salt after depending on your preference. I recommend serving this with some wheat angel hair pasta and steamed broccoli.

Big Frank's Jalapeno Shrimp App

This is one of my favorite things to eat so I figured I'd share it with you all. You will no doubt take at least a year off of your life if you eat more than 5 of these but it's worth it.

Ingredients

20 count shrimp
Bacon strips
Fresh whole Jalapenos
Philly cream cheese
Skewers (if you are using wooden skewers you want to soak them in water before so they don't catch on fire and burn the food)

You can make as much as you want but you will need 1 piece of bacon for every shrimp and one jalapeno for every 2 shrimp. You'll have to guess on the cream cheese....

Directions:
Take the jalapenos and cut them in half long ways after cutting off the stems. And for fuck sake wash the seeds out of the jalapeno and give them a good rinse. And wash your hands immediately after.

Take a butter knife or utensil of your choice and spread cream cheese inside of the jalapenos.

Place the jalapenos next to the shrimp and wrap all of the ingredients in the slice of bacon and put skewer through so it all stays together.

Place on the grill over indirect heat so you don't start a bloody grease fire

*An alternative cooking method is to try to fit a sliver of white onion in the mix to crank it up a bit. I prefer them with no onions however because the onions can tend to dominate the taste. If anybody tries this let me know how they come out

Mamou's Bread Pudding

This is a recipe from my great grandmother. It's another heart clogger but it's a pretty simple dish to make if you are having a lot of people over for dinner.

1 loaf of stale French bread broken up into bite size pieces
6 eggs beaten
1 Tbsp fresh ground nutmeg (per ground will suffice),
additional teaspoon nutmeg reserved for sprinkling
2 cups sugar
12 oz. evaporated milk
4 oz unsalted butter sliced into pat size pieces
1 teaspoon baking powder
9x13 baking pan sprayed with butter spray or greased with butter

Preheat oven to 375

Place the bread pieces in a large bowl

In a separate bowl stir sugar into beaten eggs. Gradually stir in nutmeg and 4 oz. of evaporated milk. Stir well, add remaining milk and baking powder and stir some more.

Pour the mixture over the bread. Mix with your hands until pieces of bread are thoroughly coated. Be sure to mix it several times so they all get soaked evenly. You've come this far, this is the step you really want to get right.

Pour the mixture into the pan. Sprinkle with remaining nutmeg and put butter pats on top evenly placed throughout.

Bake for 40 minutes

Sauce:

1/2 cup melted butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg beaten
rum or whiskey to taste

Cream butter and sugar in sauce pan

add the egg and stir rapidly so that the egg doesn't curdle.
When well mixed, allow to cool (or serve warm. I prefer warm)
Add a jigger (or 2) of whiskey or rum to taste

some notes: this can serve up to 12 people, maybe more...

It’s important that you keep the heat on low when cooking the sauce. You don't want the egg to cook because it will ruin the texture.

I've made this recipe using splenda as a substitute for the sugar in the bread pudding part and it works great. However it doesn't work with the sauce.

Also...even though it's called bread "pudding" it doesn't have the consistency of pudding and should be served warm.